What Is Incident Reporting & Response

NCSF is a resource for the members of the kink, poly and Lifestyle communities and for people seeking information about them. If you engage in BDSM, fetishes or non-monogamy practices, and you are being persecuted or discriminated against because of it, please contact NCSF through the Get Help Now. If you need help removing kink or non-monogamy as a barrier to public services, please contact NCSF. If your group or business needs help with outreach to local officials, please contact NCSF.If you or your group needs help with a consent violation or sexual assault, please contact NCSF.   GET HELP NOW!

Feeling alone in your fight for your rights? NCSF's Incident Response Program may be able to help.

The issue must openly, directly, and specifically relate to BDSM, swing or poly activities between consenting adults; in other words, the problems you face must relate to or be caused from your involvement in BDSM, swing or poly. 

NCSF is not legal aid, nor do we offer specific legal advice for individuals. NCSF is a resource for the members of the kink, poly and Lifestyle communities and for people seeking information about them. NCSF provides publicly available information on kink and nonmonogamy for consenting adults.

Incident Reporting & Response – 2018 Report

By Susan Wright

279 reports and requests for help were received by NCSF in 2018. This is a significant increase compared to previous years:

170 requests in 2017

109 requests in 2016

198 requests in 2015

184 requests in 2014


NCSF maintains the confidentiality of those who come to us for help, however we balance that with the need to report the services we are providing and to provide the community with a record of where the need is the greatest. Here is a breakdown of the cases the IRR Team dealt with in 2018:



107 people made reports & requested assistance, up by nearly 50% compared to 76 reports in 2017:


  • 74 requests from people who reported an assault, sexual assault, stalking, harassment or vandalization involving BDSM or non-monogamy, requesting assistance in educating law enforcement, investigators, prosecutors and victim advocates or referrals for expert witnesses. In 2017, there were 57 reports.
  • 29 people requested resources and referrals to assist in defending themselves against accusations of assault, sexual assault, domestic violence, stalking, harassment, Restraining Order, parole violations or the appeals process. In 2017, there were 16 reports.
  • 2 people needed help with sex worker related issues
  • 2 sex-positive business-owners needed help after employees embezzled and threatened them




95 groups, events and businesses requested assistance or a member requested assistance with their group. That’s more than double the 42 reports in 2017. There were 24 reports in 2016, and 50 reports in both 2015 and 2014. Here are the reports for 2018:  

  • 26 Groups/Events received information on dealing with consent violations
  • 25 Groups/Events were reporting a ban or inquiring about reports on a presenter/member
  • 11 groups needed assistance with incorporation, by-laws or legal matters involving members including lawsuits and subpoenas
  • 7 groups needed assistance in creating a consent policy for their group
  • 6 people were protesting being banned by a group
  • 5 people needed assistance resolving a consent incident with their group
  • 4 groups had their event challenged through contract cancellation or threats of cancellation
  • 3 groups asked for assistance in dealing with police outreach
  • 2 groups needed resources and referrals for attorneys for their members
  • 2 groups asked for assistance in doing outreach to local civic and community organizations
  • 1 business was reported two separate times by a number of its members: regarding bulling and sexual harassment, and privacy issues
  • 1 group was reported for outing its members
  • 1 group reported discrimination when their bank suspended their account


Child Custody and Divorce

30 people requested help with child custody cases, and there was 1 divorce case. This is similar compared to 27 reports in 2017. There were 16 reports in 2016, 26 in 2015, and 37 in 2014.

  • 18 involved parents who are kinky (6 with FetLife photos and 1 with photos on the cloud)
  • 5 involved parents in non-moogamous relationships
  • 2 involved both BDSM and non-monogamous relationships
  • 3 involved sex work
  • 1 involved same-sex marriage
  • 1 involved CPS and a parent that identified as vanilla
  • 1 divorce case involving a Master/slave contract




24 requests for assistance in civil issues compared to 13 in 2017:


  • 5 people reported being outed (3 involved FetLife pics)
  • 4 people needed employment attorneys to deal with discrimination due to BDSM (3) and non-monogamy (1)
  • 2 involved Title IX issues for educators who discussed sex positive issues including BDSM
  • 2 people needed attorneys to deal with civil legal matters.
  • 2 people needed help with civic and community organizations
  • 2 people were banned or had their account suspended by businesses
  • 2 people needed legal options involving their polyamorous relationships
  • 1 person needed help with photos that were posted without permission
  • 1 educator was attacked when an event was attacked by religious political extremists
  • 1 educator needed to find out the legality of a certain kind of BDSM play
  • 1 person complained about social media discrimination
  • 1 witness needed assistance regarding their participation in a criminal trial




There were 22 requests about kink and nonmonogamy:


  • 13 professionals requested education on BDSM, consent, ageplay, FOSTA/SESTA, and translation of NCSF resources into Hebrew, Greek and French to better serve their clients and present workshops for their professional groups. These requests came from researchers, professors, graduate students, therapists and victim advocacy agencies.
  • 9 people requested referrals to kink and polyamory aware professionals


If you need NCSF’s help because of discrimination or to remove kink as a barrier to service, please contact our Incident Reporting & Response today! Email incident@ncsfreedom.org

Please join now or donate to support NCSF’s direct services!

NCSF is not legal aid, nor do we offer specific legal advice for individuals. NCSF is a resource for the members of the kink, poly and Lifestyle communities and for people seeking information about them. NCSF provides publicly available information on kink and nonmonogamy for consenting adults. We advocate on behalf of the BDSM, swing and polyamory communities. 

Unfortunately, due to limited resources the NCSF is only able to take the cases that meet the criteria set by our mission. All of our work is done by volunteers and we accept no payment for our services.

We are however happy to receive donations earmarked specifically for use in the IRR Program. Click here to donate,  Make sure you note “Incident Reporting & Response” or “IRR” in the comment box if you want to restrict your donation. We do provide basic information as resources dictate and referrals to professionals as part of our Kink Aware Professionals database.

The criteria for acceptance listed were developed to meet the primary concerns of our voting constituencies, our Coalition Partners. When the NCSF agrees to take a case the impact can be realized by all of our constituents as a whole and therefore it is up to the policies set in motion by NCSF Coalition Partners to decide whether existing resources allow for a case to be handled effectively.

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