NCSF Newsletter: 4th Quarter 2016

NCSF Newsletter
4th Quarter, 2016
Edited by Julian Wolf

In this Issue

NCSF Annual Coalition Partner Meeting
Stay Connected!
Update on the American Law Institute Project
NCSF Table at Beyond the Love 2016
Incident Reporting & Response
Improving Consent Culture at Events with IRT
NCSF Thanks!
A New Book: His Porn, Her Pain
Survey on the Legal Needs of the Non-Monogamous Individual
Event Report: Alibi’s Fetish Formal
Media Updates
Representing on FetLife

NCSF Annual Coalition Partner Meeting
Friday, March 31, 2017
9:30am – 3pm
Chicago, IL
The NCSF Annual CP Meeting is for representatives of the Coalition Partners and the NCSF Board and Staff members to come together to discuss the year-end reports on NCSF projects and programs, and to set goals for the coming year. The NCSF Board is elected at the annual meeting, and the budget and financials are approved.

The NCSF Annual CP Meeting is open to all members of NCSF and its member organizations. The Annual CP Meeting will also be available via video conferencing. Please RSVP to: to receive the details.

For the first time ever, NCSF’s CP Meeting will take place the Friday before a major BDSM conference, Kinky Kollege Spring Break. You don’t have to be signed up for Kinky Kollege to attend. This event will take place at a beautiful hotel and convention center just 10 minutes from O’Hare International Airport and a short ride from Downtown Chicago.

NCSF Board Members and Staff will be attending Kinky Kollege Spring Break and presenting a number of workshops, including a Saturday luncheon brain storming session on the future of NCSF and the needs of the kink and non-monogamy communities. For those who want to attend Kinky Kollege Spring Break, go here to register at a discounted rate and you also get a discounted hotel room rate:

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Stay connected!

Join NCSF’s email list to stay in the know. You can sign up to receive our emails here or go to our website and fill in the “Get the NCSF Newsletter” box with your email.

Update on the American Law Institute Project

Dick Cunningham, NCSF’s legal counsel, has been selected for membership in the American Law Institute. The ALI is the American law profession’s elite organization for the study of important current legal issues and the drafting of “model laws.” The model laws drafted by the ALI, often in a process, are generally incorporated, albeit often with some amendments, by the great majority of state legislatures in their civil and criminal laws. As a member, Dick will now have the opportunity to participate in any of the ALI’s on-going model law projects.

At the top of Dick’s priority list will be two projects of direct importance to NCSF. The most important is the Institute’s on-going effort to revise criminal laws concerning various forms of sexual assault and-of particular interest to NCSF: the principles of consent applicable in such criminal prosecutions. NCSF has already made written submissions to that ALI project that have been favorably received and that promise to introduce into the model laws and commentary concepts that clarify the issue of consent in the context of BDSM.

The second project in which Dick will participate is the ALI’s study of the issues concerning sex on college campuses. This whole subject is almost daily in the news headlines. Here again, issues concerning the rules of consent are central to the project, and decisions made as to consent in this emotionally-charged context could have implications-good or bad-to the criminal law of consent in the BDSM context.

Look for more updates on the ALI project in the coming months.

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Beyond the love 2017 

NCSF Table at Beyond the Love 2016
Thanks Dara (pictured) for setting up and Keira for tabling!
Interested in having a table at your event? Message

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Incident Reporting & Response – 2016 Report
by Susan Wright

NCSF’s Incident Reporting & Response provides informational resources about kink and non-monogamy along with referrals to kink aware professionals. If you engage in BDSM, fetishes or non-monogamy practices, and you are being persecuted or discriminated against because of it, please contact NCSF. If you need help removing kink or non-monogamy as a barrier to public services, please contact NCSF. If your group or business needs help with outreach to local officials, please contact NCSF.

In 2016, 109 requests for help were received. That is almost half the number of requests received during the previous two years: 198 requests received in 2015 and 184 requests received in 2014. NCSF maintains the confidentiality of those who come to us for help, however we balance that need with the need to report the services we are providing and to provide the community with a record of where the need is the greatest.

Here is a breakdown of the cases the IRR team dealt with in 2016:


32 people requested informational resources and referrals to kink aware professionals involved criminal issues, down from 72 requests in 2015:

16 requests from people complaining about a kink-related assault/sexual assault or harassment who needed assistance in connecting with kink-aware victim services and/or resources to educate law enforcement and prosecutors.
13 people needed a defense attorney or expert witness due to sexual assault/assault charges or restraining order involving BDSM – 1 was a military case.
1 person needed an attorney to defend against fraud charges
1 person was facing charges for posting photos without permission to FetLife
1 person needed an attorney to help keep a restraining order in place.


24 groups requested informational resources and referrals to kink aware professionals involving organizational matters. This is half the number of requests in 2015 (50) and is the same number of requests as in 2014.

16 groups needed information on dealing with consent violations and preparing to deal with consent violations.
6 groups were attacked this year by social conservatives and through outing. 2 involved the media and 1 event was raided by law enforcement.
2 groups needed assistance with organization and zoning issues.

Child Custody

17 people requested informational resources and referrals to kink aware professionals regarding child custody or divorce. There was only 1 divorce case, and that involved polyamory. There were 16 child custody requests (down from 26 in 2015 and 37 in 2014):

7 involved parents who practiced polyamory
7 involved parents who do BDSM (with two involving photos taken from FetLife)
2 requests involved adoption into a poly household

Professional Education

17 professionals requested information about kink or polyamory to better serve their clients or present workshops for their professional group. These requests came from researchers, professors, clinical therapists, sex therapists, nurse practitioners, psychologists, lawyers and victim advocacy agencies.

Additional Requests

There were 19 other requests for informational resources and/or referrals to Kink Aware Professionals:

8 people reported school or job discrimination because they are kinky or polyamorous
4 people were threatened with outing to work or family involving FetLife photos
3 people requested assistance in defending or pursuing civil defamation lawsuits
2 Pro-Dommes requested resources on setting up their business legally
2 people requested assistance with unwanted media exposure

If you need NCSF’s help because of discrimination or to remove kink as a barrier to service, please contact our Incident Reporting & Response today! Email

Please join now or donate to support NCSF’s direct services!

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Improving Consent Culture at Events with IRT

The Consent Incident Response method was collaboratively developed and tested in 2016 at the first ROPECRAFT. An Incident Response Team (IRT) exists to improve the immediate response to any consent incident. Their focus is to help the people involved feel supported, heard, and understood using techniques from emergency services, trauma counselling, and other harm-reduction disciplines.

The IRT may help event staff find constructive options towards resolving consent incidents, but they do not interfere or replace any policies already in place.

Training for IRT members has continued to develop across North America as well as online ( Incident Response Teams have had positive effects at several events including Dark Odyssey, ROPECRAFT, RambleGRUE, and Bound Exposure. For more information, contact

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NCSF Thanks! 4th Quarter 2016

NCSF thanks Leather SINS & Kinky Kollege Homecoming for donating $3,000 from their October weekend conference.

Judy Guerin and Dick Cunningham donated $1,500 for the NCSF Sponsorship of the Leadership Conference.

MSDB raised $916 for NCSF at their annual Bizarre Bazaar in December.

The New Mexico Leather League, a Coalition Partner of NCSF, donated $738 that was raised at their Leather Fiesta weekend conference at the end of October.

Coalition Partner The Red Chair raised $673 as their annual fundraiser for NCSF.

Thank you to Spank University for donating $614 to the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom in December a fund raiser during their holiday party.

NCSF thanks James Mooney for donating $500 in November.

Coalition Partner Baja Arizona Leather donated $335 from Behind Closed Doors weekend conference in Arizona in October as their annual charity donation.

NCSF thanks smOdyssey in San Jose for donating $250 in September.

The Weekly Alibi in New Mexico donated $170 from their Inaugural Fetish Formal in November.

In November, $131 was donated by attendees at Beyond the Love, a 3-day polyamory event in Columbus Ohio that focuses on relationships.

The DC Sub Club, a Coalition Partner, gave their annual donation of $118 to NCSF in December.

NCSF thanks Supporting Member Mistress Natalya for donating $100 in December.

And thank you to CRUISING for SEX for donating $50 to NCSF in December!

NCSF thanks all of our generous donors who enable our
all-volunteer staff to continue our projects to end discrimination.

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His Porn, Her Pain: Confronting America’s PornPanic With Honest Talk About Sex

by Marty Klein, PhD.

When you were logging onto the Internet in the 1990s, did you ever wonder “What do you suppose would happen if America were flooded with free, high-quality pornography?” We now know the answer, as this is exactly what took place 15 years ago. But this knowledge hasn’t enabled us to deal with porn intelligently.

This practical, innovative book describes today’s porn, and how we respond to it, including:

-How couples can deal productively with conflict about one partner’s porn use;
-How parents can help their kids deal with troubling images they might see-and reduce parents’ anxiety in the process;
-What people can do if they’re concerned about their own porn use-and why “porn addiction” is the WRONG approach;
-The actual content of most porn (in contrast with the exaggerated, mythical content);
-The historic change in America’s anti-porn critique: from an immorality problem (porn is dangerous for the user) to a public health danger (porn is dangerous for everyone), inviting a whole new group of stakeholders to fight porn’s existence.

This book shows that for most people, porn is NOT the real problem. What are we really talking about when we talk about porn? This fast-paced book provides thought-provoking answers.

His porn

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Survey on the Legal Needs of the Non-Monogamous Individual
published in Front Page Headlines

We know that the needs and concerns of non-monogamous people are important, especially when it comes to your family. Now more than ever, we have to protect ourselves.

That’s why NCSF has partnered with a number of groups and individuals to create a needs assessment survey on legal matters for non-monogamous people. This survey is a joint collaboration of NCSF, Relationship Equality Foundation, Association of Black Sexologists and Clinicians, Loving More, Sarah Avraham, Esq., and Bill Dombrowski.

Please take this survey and share it with your partners and friends:

The results of this survey will help us provide better resources and help us in training the legal community on ways to offer better services to non-monogamous individuals.

Thank you for your time and participation in the survey!

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In November the Weekly Alibi hosted the Inaugural Fetish Formal in Albuquerque

fetish Formula

The Fetish Formal was a fully immersive theatrical event featuring live and original music, dark burlesque and cabaret acts, high flying aerialists, kink and fetish demonstrations in the Dungeon of Visual Delights and so much more.

A bron R Williams

Two of our Performers
Amy Brown & half of our headlining act Rip Williams
photo by Eric Williams

Members of the local kink community joined the curious, the Cabaret Cast, our safer sex sponsor Self Serve Toys, the January Shop, hair and makeup artist Sarah Badass Bridger, Ascension Body Modification and our featured artist Darla Hallmark of the Unseen Gallery to raise money for the NCSF amid the revelry. We had so much fun Alibi Fetish Events plans on continuing the merriment and the fundrasing for the NCSF throughout the year.

J Wolf A Oss

Master of the Dungeon of Visual Delights & the MC
Angaym K. Oss & Julian Wolf photo by Eric Williams

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Media Updates and Web Features

NCSF Media Updates are a sampling of recent stories printed in US newspapers, magazines, and selected websites containing significant mention of BDSM-leather-fetish, polyamory, or swing issues and topics. These stories may be positive, negative, accurate, inaccurate or anywhere in between.

Here’s a sample of three of our recent featured stories:
Feminism and the Corporatization of Kink from The Globe and Mail
Cautious Optimism About Fashion’s Fetish Movement from the Leather Community by Mikelle Street
Ask a Trans Woman: Trans and Kinky; Proud to be Who I Am from The Rainbow Times

NCSF publishes the Updates to provide readers with a comprehensive look at what media outlets are writing about these topics and to urge everyone to make comments that dispute stereotypes about alternative sexuality. NCSF permits and encourages readers to forward these Updates where appropriate.

You can sign up to receive our emails here or check our blog at our website here.

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Representing on FetLife

Find the NCSF on the world’s most popular free social network for the BDSM, Fetish & Kinky communities!

NCSF – National Coalition For Sexual Freedom News
NCSF Volunteers
Consent Counts

and members can even list the NCSF as a Fetish on their profiles!

Interested in a specific story or in writing an article?
email Julian:

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